# [[educ 7650]] Assignment 10 Jethro Jones, also available online at [drjethro.com](https://drjethro.com/7650assign10) ## Assignment Perfectionism is one of the main saboteurs that hijacks our performance, relationships, and work. Arash Emamzadeh in an article in [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202411/why-perfectionism-is-a-trap) defines is this way: > Perfectionism can be defined as setting, working toward, and becoming preoccupied with idealized goals that are unrealistically ambitious. Perfectionists tend to develop such high expectations of themselves that they can become harshly self-critical. Excellencism, on the other hand, could be defined as a tendency to strive toward high yet attainable standards in a determined yet flexible way. For the former, excellence is just a point on the (unrealistic) path toward perfection; for the latter, it’s the goal. We all want to be excellent, I'm sure, and often we don't know that it is any different than perfectionism, but it is. This is something that I see often with principals who work with me. We start by taking a saboteur assessment to see which saboteurs are getting in our way. Here are my results (scores out of 10): 1. Hyper Achiever - 8 2. Restless - 8 3. Avoider - 7 4. Controller - 6 5. Hyper Rational - 6 6. Pleaser - 5 7. Victim -3 8. Stickler (perfectionist) - 1 9. Hyper Vigilant - 0 For me personally, perfectionism isn't really an issue. I'm a "quick start" and I like to get things going and I'm more interested in getting it done than getting it right. In fact, if I can't get it done in one sitting, I often abandon it! I have to work really hard to make something perfect. They say good is the enemy of great. But perfect is the enemy of done! I know that I'm not typical among most educators because almost everyone I work with has a much higher Stickler score. This perfectionism is damaging. Most of the people I work with are self-oriented perfectionist, which, according to Gregory Chasson, means: > Our [perfectionistic](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism) tendencies are often turned inward, which is known as self-oriented perfectionism: We apply excessive standards and inflexible thinking to ourselves but not necessarily to others. Many school leaders justify this self-oriented perfectionism claiming incorrectly that it afflicts only ourselves, but the real problem is that it causes an issue for others, because we delay, procrastinate, take it all on ourselves, without considering that our perfectionism is actually harming our relationships, degrading our performance, and making us miserable. I was working with a principal a couple weeks ago who personally struggled with this. She was punishing herself greatly, even though every one else had already moved on. The issue was still bothering her, even though the rest of her team had forgotten about it. Her constant complaining about her mistake didn't build trust, it destroyed her credibility. And it made her team wonder if she was judging them just as harshly. There is a simple way to get over this perfectionism, though. And that's through calling upon the sage power of our mind. We don't have to succumb to these saboteur thoughts! We can choose to overcome them. While Dr. Susan Whitbourne suggests mistake-making as the main focus of therapy, I don't believe that you need that, as we already make plenty of mistakes! We tap into the sage power to deal with feelings of perfectionism. This is the main focus of my work, and it doesn't require you to force mistakes upon yourself. You have so much power inside yourself, and you can really overcome. Here's the reality, you can start taking small steps to overcome it very easily, and it starts with being in control of your mind. If you'd like to test this out and try it, I'd be happy to schedule a free session with you where we can walk through this. Schedule a time that is convenient for you here https://cal.com/jethrojones/sds ## Assignment Directions Despite the (hopefully) nice weather, I know that spring is a time when anxieties rise in school. Some of this is the reality that the days are waning and we aren’t as far along as we wish. Some of it is that our students aren’t making the progress that we wish. Perhaps “Why Perfectionism Is A Trap” hits home for you. I know it does for me. I’ve always had difficulty in knowing when good enough is good enough. [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202411/why-perfectionism-is-a-trapLinks to an external site.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202411/why-perfectionism-is-a-trap) In a few paragraphs, please respond to these questions: 1. Is this an issue for you? If so, provide an example. If not, how do you avoid it? 2. Do some/many of your staff members struggle with this tension? 3. Might this be a good topic for a PD session?