# Book Review The Principal as Chief Empathy Officer by Dr. Thomas Hoerr Jethro Jones [[EDUC 7630 Notes]] ## Assignment Directions ## Assignment The Principal as Chief Empathy Officer Review For EDUC 7630 Jethro Jones “The Principal as Chief Empathy Officer”, by Dr. Thomas Hoerr explains the value of the integration of empathy within educational leadership. I had the fortunate experience of speaking with Dr. Hoerr about this book on my podcast [Transformative Principal in episode 495](https://transformativeprincipal.org/s11/495) (Jones, 2022). In 2022, I asked Tom what action step a principal should take. He said: > I think the way to begin is by looking at empathy and reading the section that I wrote about listening. I've got a number of specific strategies and ideas--about how you can listen, how you can get out of your bubble...And it's a two way conversation. When we develop empathy for other people, they develop empathy for us. (Jones, 2022) So my focus is going to be on drawing a few key highlights from the book about listening, specifically. I feel that this is an area that I struggle with greatly. I have always tried to be a good listener, but it is difficult. I strongly identified with Tom's description of a superintendent dealing with a difficult situation: > As I observed the superintendent, I was struck by the fact that she mostly listened. She asked parents what they were thinking and how they were feeling. She took notes when parents talked and often asked follow-up questions. Eliciting feelings and listening were not things I had done, and I could see what a difference it was making in how the parents perceived her and in the tone of the meeting. The superintendent did not agree to allocate extra funds for early care, but she said that she understood how hard this was for families and that she would explore what possibilities might exist. The meeting ended with parents feeling she was on their side. (Hoerr, 2022, p. 44) So many times, I have found myself in a similar situation. I've watched someone else deal with a situation where I felt like I needed to have answers, only to start fighting with people instead of helping them feel like I was on their side. A trap I fall into is thinking that "If they are talking to me about a problem, they must want me to solve that problem!" That is not always the case. Often, they just want empathy and understanding. In fact, just recently, I am pretty sure I lost a speaking opportunity because I wasn't listening effectively to what they wanted. I thought they wanted solutions from me, but it turns out they didn't want a solution. They wanted someone to hear them, and because I did poorly, I think that made a negative impact, and they didn't ask me to speak or work with them. My current coach, Aleasha Bahr, calls this empathy and hope. She says, "When someone is expressing a concern, they don't want you to sell them. They want you to understand their concern and offer them hope that it can be overcome" (Aleasha Bahr, personal communication, 2024) When I try to solve their problem, I am forcing them to adopt my solution, and sometimes, they're not even ready for that. But more importantly, they don't care, because they see that I don't care. So my takeaway here is that I need to do a better job asking questions and listening. In my work now, this is especially important because if I don't understand a potential client's needs and what they really are looking for, they won't ever drop the "potential" and become an actual client. A second theme that resonated from this book is the idea of managing pace: "although a quick pace might get things done, it doesn't portray a tone that leads to listening and developing empathy" (Hoerr, 2022, p. 108). I'm very much a go getter. I like to get things done and make things happen. I am a "shoot first, ask questions later" kind of person. My bias is action. If there's a problem that needs to be solved, let's get it done. If there's not, then I'm not in a hurry. This is challenging in my work because I see my email not as communicating, but as a task list. My emails become short, fact-based, and intentional. I'm good at shooting the breeze, but not in email, and not in zoom meetings. Those are places of action and making things happen. One way that I have incorporated this recently is that I spend a portion of time in each zoom call in an empathy conversation. This empathy conversation is a time for me to listen to them, ask questions. One particular client (that I've been trying to land for years) has been a focus for me the last several times we've met. I have to be intentional in doing this because I so often just want to get down to business, and respect their time. However, I'm seeing that it is not about getting things done, as much as it is about really hearing them. One day, she expressed that her boss was riding her about some things that were making things more difficult. I asked her more follow up questions, and found that if I did one little thing, it would alleviate her concerns. Typically, I would have tried to solve her problem, but since I have been focused more on empathy, I tried to understand her problem. And by understanding, I still solved her problem and made much less work for both of us in the process! It was a win-win-win. There's obviously a lot more about listening in this book, and so many different ways to take this review, but these two simple things have really made an impact for me over the last few weeks. **References** - Hoerr, T. R. (2022). _The principal as chief empathy officer: Creating a culture where everyone grows_. ASCD. - Jones, J. (2022). _Chief Empathy Officer with Dr. Tom Hoerr Transformative Principal 495_ (495) [MP3]. Retrieved July 27, 2024, from [https://transformativeprincipal.org/s11/495](https://transformativeprincipal.org/s11/495)